time for more changes

i've been here a little over a year. it's time for more changes.

i put an offer on a house yesterday. i told myself i wasn't going to buy another house until i had a partner to share the burden with me... but, that's not going to happen any time in the near future. stephen and i broke up last weekend.

it's been several months in the making, this breakup. at the beginning of the relationship we talked about long term goals and a future together. but then "long term" started to be an ominous phrase. though we always got along spectacularly well and never fought, we started wanting different things. so finally we decided to call it quits.

only we're not calling it quits at all. he is my best friend here, and though i am immensely sad over what's happened, i simply can't separate myself from him. not to mention hannah, who has become such a delight in my life. he desperately wants me to remain in his life, too, so we're keeping things just the way they are, but removing the romance.

and already, just 3 days into this new arrangement, things seem lighter and happier. we're eager to spend time together. right now, this step backwards feels like the right thing to do.

and as i sifted through that big change, i started thinking about other things in my life that could be better. and i decided that living in this apartment wasn't bringing me much joy... if i'm changing my relationship status, why not change my living arrangement, too? so i started looking online for houses and -voila!- the perfect thing was waiting for me. it's under $200k (a miracle in this town), 3 bedrooms and 1 bath, a little over 1000 square feet. and... it's about 6 blocks from stephen's house.

i was afraid he'd freak out over that, but quite the contrary -- he was overjoyed. stupidly excited. he ran right over to the house and peeked in all the windows, wondering where i'd put all my furniture. i'm relieved. a lot has all happened in the last 3 days, and i worry whether i'm being a little impetuous. but it all feels right.

it's a tricky situation, though, this house. it's a "short sale", which means the owner owes the bank more than she's asking for it. so it's her creditors that have to approve my offer, not her. of course, the creditors want all of their money, so they might not want to accept my offer (which was exactly the listing price)... but the house has been on the market since april, and it's scheduled to foreclose in 45 days. the bank will likely -hopefully- want to sell it to me. keep your fingers crossed, ok?

this house would mean a big change in lifestyle (let's just pile on the changes) -- i'd live a bit farther from work, my mortgage would be more expensive than my rent, i'd live in a more commercial area of town -- but i think i'm ready. and i've got stephen and hannah right there to be great friends and neighbors.

one last thing before i have to go: my neck had begun to feel SO MUCH better --far less numbness in my arm-- but then i got my hair done and i'm in pain again. it was something about the shampoo bowl at the salon -- those things have always hurt my neck, but this time it really set my progress way back. i returned to the physical therapist today, and he agreed that i was only a little better than i was last week. stupid haircut.

i was planning on going to colorado this weekend to see my brother's family (and my dad was going to be there, too) -- but dad has suddenly come down ill and is now not going, and with my neck i just decided to stay home too. it's a bummer, for sure, but stephen suggested that hannah & i have a sleepover this weekend, so that'll be a fun way to be with 'family' instead.

when it comes right down to it, i *do* feel like stephen & hannah are family. just not the exact kind of traditional family i was expecting.

c6-7

well, now it's my turn. apparently i have a disc injury in my neck. c6-7, says my physical therapist. the symptoms? numbness along my inner right arm, and down into my thumb and index finger. the treatment? lying on my back as much as possible.

this problem started close to a month ago. i woke up with neck pain, and thought i'd just slept funny. i got a massage a couple of days later, and i felt good for a few hours... but then the pain (which at that time was exclusively focused in my neck and shoulder) returned.

i don't have much pain anymore, though i do have some tenderness in my neck along the right side of my spine... instead, the problem now manifests itself mostly as numbness. my doctor took some x-rays (negative) and prescribed some anti-inflammatories and muscle-relaxants and then she sent me to the physical therapist. in addition to lying on my back (which seems to be the only surefire way of getting the numbness to go away) i'm also supposed to ice my neck at least three times a day.

today is about day 5 of treatment, and i think it's getting a bit better. i have 3 more sessions (one a week) with the physical therapist. but i can't ride my bike (instant numbness) and i'm pretty bummed about the loss of that exercise -- especially since the weather here is frickin' perfect.

the only up-side is that i can now begin to understand what stephen is going through with his disc problems. he has constant numbness in his leg, but that's a mere trifle compared to the shooting pains he experiences. his physical therapist tells him to lie on his stomach as often as possible, so right now we make a great pair.