time for more changes

i've been here a little over a year. it's time for more changes.

i put an offer on a house yesterday. i told myself i wasn't going to buy another house until i had a partner to share the burden with me... but, that's not going to happen any time in the near future. stephen and i broke up last weekend.

it's been several months in the making, this breakup. at the beginning of the relationship we talked about long term goals and a future together. but then "long term" started to be an ominous phrase. though we always got along spectacularly well and never fought, we started wanting different things. so finally we decided to call it quits.

only we're not calling it quits at all. he is my best friend here, and though i am immensely sad over what's happened, i simply can't separate myself from him. not to mention hannah, who has become such a delight in my life. he desperately wants me to remain in his life, too, so we're keeping things just the way they are, but removing the romance.

and already, just 3 days into this new arrangement, things seem lighter and happier. we're eager to spend time together. right now, this step backwards feels like the right thing to do.

and as i sifted through that big change, i started thinking about other things in my life that could be better. and i decided that living in this apartment wasn't bringing me much joy... if i'm changing my relationship status, why not change my living arrangement, too? so i started looking online for houses and -voila!- the perfect thing was waiting for me. it's under $200k (a miracle in this town), 3 bedrooms and 1 bath, a little over 1000 square feet. and... it's about 6 blocks from stephen's house.

i was afraid he'd freak out over that, but quite the contrary -- he was overjoyed. stupidly excited. he ran right over to the house and peeked in all the windows, wondering where i'd put all my furniture. i'm relieved. a lot has all happened in the last 3 days, and i worry whether i'm being a little impetuous. but it all feels right.

it's a tricky situation, though, this house. it's a "short sale", which means the owner owes the bank more than she's asking for it. so it's her creditors that have to approve my offer, not her. of course, the creditors want all of their money, so they might not want to accept my offer (which was exactly the listing price)... but the house has been on the market since april, and it's scheduled to foreclose in 45 days. the bank will likely -hopefully- want to sell it to me. keep your fingers crossed, ok?

this house would mean a big change in lifestyle (let's just pile on the changes) -- i'd live a bit farther from work, my mortgage would be more expensive than my rent, i'd live in a more commercial area of town -- but i think i'm ready. and i've got stephen and hannah right there to be great friends and neighbors.

one last thing before i have to go: my neck had begun to feel SO MUCH better --far less numbness in my arm-- but then i got my hair done and i'm in pain again. it was something about the shampoo bowl at the salon -- those things have always hurt my neck, but this time it really set my progress way back. i returned to the physical therapist today, and he agreed that i was only a little better than i was last week. stupid haircut.

i was planning on going to colorado this weekend to see my brother's family (and my dad was going to be there, too) -- but dad has suddenly come down ill and is now not going, and with my neck i just decided to stay home too. it's a bummer, for sure, but stephen suggested that hannah & i have a sleepover this weekend, so that'll be a fun way to be with 'family' instead.

when it comes right down to it, i *do* feel like stephen & hannah are family. just not the exact kind of traditional family i was expecting.