it's been a long time since i've been this sick

i've slept for probably 40 of the last 48 hours. even watching 30 minutes of TV wipes me out. bed is the best place to be. walking downstairs to the kitchen is a rickety affair. i have to hold on with both hands.

i had a particularly scary moment yesterday. i think it was yesterday... i've been sleeping so much i can't really remember where yesterday ended and today began. anyway, i've been fighting some serious congestion. (if you're squeamish you might want to stop reading right now.) i've been hocking up big green loogies and blowing some equally gross stuff out my nose as well. yesterday it all collided as i found myself literally suffocating on phlegm.

a big gob of it got lodged at the top of my windpipe, and since my nose was plugged up too, i couldn't get any air in or out for a frightening minute or so. i wheezed and i gasped for breath, unable to dislodge the stuff from my throat. i was bent over the kitchen sink, panicked, trying to generate enough air to force this thing out of my throat, and with each second that i couldn't breathe i felt my eyes start to bug out a little. all i could think was, "i'm going to die. i can't breathe. i'm going to die from phlegm."

then suddenly, i was ok. i can't even remember what happened. i was so beside myself with fear that i'm unsure as to how the situation resolved itself. but i could breathe again, and i was shaking. being this sick, alone in this apartment... pretty scary.

i'm getting better but i'm still really really exhausted. i've already called in sick tomorrow, too. i feel so limp, even if the phlegm has largely subsided.